Date: December 20, 2024Attorney: David S. Carton, Lynne Strober, Rebecca E. Frino, Jennifer E. Presti and Xena A. Balcazar

The holiday season is a time for joy, celebration, and creating unforgettable memories. For many couples, it’s also the season of engagements. December consistently ranks as one of the most popular months for proposals, with romantic gestures under sparkling lights or heartfelt moments surrounded by family becoming timeless traditions.

However, while the magic of an engagement takes center stage, it’s also essential to consider the legal implications of this milestone—particularly when it comes to the engagement ring.

At Mandelbaum Barrett PC, our Matrimonial and Family Law team often advises clients about the legalities surrounding engagement rings, especially when relationships face unexpected turns. Here’s what you need to know about this symbolic, expensive, and legally significant piece of jewelry.

Who Gets to Keep the Engagement Ring?

One of the most common questions couples ask is, “Who keeps the ring if the engagement is broken off?” The answer largely depends on the legal classification of the engagement ring.

Legally speaking, an engagement ring is often considered a conditional gift and it is in New Jersey. Unlike other gifts exchanged during a relationship, an engagement ring typically comes with a clear condition: marriage. If the marriage does not occur, determining who keeps the ring can become a point of contention.

What Are the Rules for Engagement Rings?

The approach courts take in resolving disputes over engagement rings varies by jurisdiction. Here are the three most common scenarios:

  1. Conditional Gift Rule
    In most states, the engagement ring is a conditional gift. If the marriage doesn’t happen, the giver is entitled to have the ring returned.
  2. Fault-Based Rule
    Some jurisdictions consider fault when deciding who keeps the ring. If the giver is at fault for ending the engagement, they may forfeit the right to reclaim the ring. Conversely, if the recipient is at fault, they may be required to return it.
  3. Unconditional Gift Rule
    A smaller number of states treat the engagement ring as an unconditional gift, meaning the recipient keeps it regardless of whether the marriage takes place or who ends the engagement.

What Are the Engagement Ring Laws in New Jersey and New York?

New Jersey: Conditional Gifts with Fault Considerations

In New Jersey, engagement rings are treated as conditional gifts. If the engagement is called off, the ring must be returned to the giver because the condition—marriage—was not fulfilled. While New Jersey courts generally focus on the conditional nature of the gift, fault can sometimes be considered when determining who keeps the ring. For example, if the giver’s actions directly caused the engagement to end, they may forfeit their right to reclaim the ring (NJ Law Journal). Proving intent beyond a ring being a gift conditioned on the marriage taking place can be challenging.

New York: Conditional Gifts with No-Fault Rules

New York also considers engagement rings to be conditional gifts. However, the state takes a strict no-fault approach. This means that regardless of who ended the engagement or why, the ring must be returned to the giver if the marriage does not occur. New York courts focus solely on whether the condition (marriage) was met and do not weigh the reasons behind the breakup (NY Law Journal).

How to Protect Your Interests in an Engagement Ring

If you’re planning to propose this holiday season or recently got engaged, here are some proactive steps to consider:

  1. Discuss Expectations Early
    Openly discuss what will happen to the engagement ring if the relationship doesn’t work out. Setting expectations early can prevent misunderstandings.
  2. Consider a Prenuptial Agreement
    A prenuptial agreement can outline how engagement rings and other assets will be treated in case of unforeseen events, offering clarity and protection for both parties.
  3. Understand State Laws
    Since laws vary by state, it’s crucial to understand how your jurisdiction treats engagement rings.
  4. Seek Legal Advice
    Partnering with an experienced family law attorney can help you navigate the legalities of engagement rings and ensure your interests are protected.

At Mandelbaum Barrett PC, our Matrimonial and Family Law attorneys have extensive experience handling engagement ring disputes and other family law matters. Whether you need advice about engagement rings, prenuptial agreements, or other related issues, we are here to provide guidance tailored to your needs.

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